science humor
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Have a science related joke? Leave it in the comments and we’ll add it here. Keep it clean. We’re a family show!
Popularity: 38% [?]
Check out this video from ABC news concerning the present state of affairs of cereal boxes.
Cereal companies are claiming that their products are healthy options, despite the fact that they contain tons of sugar and …
Check out this video from ABC news concerning the present state of affairs of cereal boxes.
Cereal companies are claiming that their products are healthy options, despite the fact that they contain tons of sugar and …
The U.S. Chamber of Commerce wants to put well established scientific evidence on trial:
Environmentalists say the chamber’s strategy is an attempt to sow political discord by challenging settled science — and note that in the …
A new refinery outside Pittsburgh uses a different approach to convert biomass to ethanol. Instead of using bacteria to break down biomass/cellulosic material that is then fermented and distilled to give ethanol, the biomass is …
yo mamma’s so fat every step she takes is the rate determining step
yo mamma’s so poor, she owes Gibbs Energy.
yo mamma’s so fat she only accepts pie bonds
Rules of the Lab
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
When you don’t know what you’re doing, do it neatly.
Experiments must be reproducible, they should fail the same way each time.
First draw your curves, then plot your data.
Experience is directly proportional to equipment ruined.
Always keep a record of your data. It indicates that you have been working.
To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.
If you can’t get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Do not believe in miracles – rely on them.
Teamwork is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.
All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.
No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example.
Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it.
How do sulfur and oxygen communicate?
A sulfone!
The Official Unabashed Scientific Dictionary defines cation as a positively charged kitten.
A Chemical is a Substance that:
An organic chemist turns into a foul odor.
An inorganic chemist turns into a complex.
An analytical chemist turns into a procedure.
A physical chemist turns into a straight line.
A biochemist turns into a helix.
A chemical engineer turns into a profit.
A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some acetylsalicylic acid.
The pharmacist replies, “You mean aspirin?”
The chemist answers, “That’s it… I can never remember that word.”
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle — you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Electrons violate Hund’s Rule in Chuck Norris’ presence: they would rather pair up for protection than be all alone in an orbital with him …